LONG DISTANCE FLAMES

by MatselaMoshokoa

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Existing in a long distance relationship is not easy, but it doesn’t mean it cannot be fun. Sometimes we get hung up on what we don’t have instead of looking at what we do have, which is each other. With smart phone apps and social media the great divide can be bridged easily. I have put together creative ways to keep those flames burning with long distance love. This is how my boyfriend and I bridge the gap everyday. Johannesburg and New York have never been this close.

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1.  VIRTUAL DATES

Our first date was a virtual date, what does that mean you ask?. Simple, take your phone or tablet with your headphones and have a meal together at your favorite spot, and he/she does the same on their side, you synchronize your times and voila!!!, you have a virtual date. Other examples could be taking walks together, having supper together at home. In my case my supper is his lunch because of the time zone difference, but the key is sharing some of your meal times together as you would if they were in the same town or city.

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2. LOVE LETTERS – as in Snail Mail

Every now and then snail mail creeps into my postbox and its a letter from my bae. Even though we speak to each other everyday. Letters are really special gifts for me.  Take time to write it, slap a stamp on it and do it the old fashioned way. It has a certain feeling of nostalgia and creativity. It allows you to experience each others creative writing skills and hand writing, which might seem trivial given the ‘text language’ we have come to be accustom to. Use beautiful paper and envelope, and seal it with a wax seal for that extra charm.

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3. GIFTS

Buy each other random gifts, they don’t need to be expensive, just a little something to show that you are thinking of them. It could be anything from a charm bracelet from a craft market, a T-shirt of his favorite football team or cupcakes delivered to the office. Keep it random and get ideas from your conversations, there are always hints.

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4. YOUR DAY IN PICTURES

Send each other pictures of what you are up to on a daily basis. Sometimes my days are so busy that long telephone conversations are tricky, so I send pictures of what i’m up to. Things like the colours of fabric i’m putting together, the stores that I’d be visiting, what i’m having for lunch etc and he does the same. It helps you catch up on the day, without necessarily having to talk about it, and when you do talk you just fill in the details and he/she has the visuals already.

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5. PLAN SPECIAL HOLIDAYS

Because we are always working with limited time. Planning our physical meet ups is key. We always plan a getaway for the first few days of the visit and the rest of the time, we will just exist in each others spaces, like the everyday relationship. Planning the getaways can be fun as a project you do together, one can be in charge of logistics and the other can look at activities. It is great to have something to look forward to every time you part ways.

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6. DO PROJECTS TOGETHER

Planning the holidays in one such project, however there are many. We have a 2 person book club, we find interesting books to read, suggested by either of our very different tastes and preference which makes things interesting. Build something together, e.g. a car model, a bookshelf or even a light fixture.

Remember to have fun and be creative, you will find that distance doesn’t have to that bad, and that it really makes the heart grow fonder.

Matsela

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